Second Guess

There are some nights when I actually have a few moments to myself. That I will sit and think exactly how far I've come. Sometimes there's a moment of doubt. Occasionally I find myself second guessing, not believing in myself. But sometimes I think again of where I've been and how many people have helped me get here. All of these people over all of these years. If so many have believed in me enough to help me along the way then we can't all be wrong.

So many times have I been told just keep working hard. Ever since I was a kid I feel like someone has told me every year to just keep at it and my time will come. Every year someone has sacrificed something for me without anything in return. People worry about me for reasons that are beyond my comprehension. Some want success for me bad enough they worry about what I put myself through just to have this opportunity. They have to see something substantial. 

I hear all the time about pressure. About not putting pressure on yourself. About doing it strictly for youself and no one else. I don't see it that way. I want it for me and the hundreds or thousands of people that have helped me get here. I want to succeed and share that moment with all of them. When I start second guessing myself it only lasts a moment because then I realize how many people have the faith and belief in me and that feeling is enough to conquer the world. 

Trapped in a cycle

This of course is my first go round in this whole Olympic thing. Mid way through next year will mark my first full cycle. The one thing that's always in my mind is what it all means. I am not one of these professional athletes you see on TV. The ones that make millions of dollars and compete 16-160+ times a year. Who can afford a bad day. Who can get complacent and afford to put one in the L column. 

I am an athlete in an Olympic cycle. Which means I have one single shot at this. Otherwise I have to wait four years. Four years? Let's put four years into perspective. 

A different president will be in office. Kobe Bryant will most likely be a retired athlete. Along with Peyton Manning and Tom Brady. Every Current high school student should have graduated by then. Over 10 million people will die. Over 11 million children will be birthed. And yet all of that happens before the next Olympic Trials.

If this doesn't go my way, if I have an off day I will have 4 years or 1461 days to play it back in my head. What if my prime is gone? What if I suffer a serious injury? What if life's course takes me away from the sport. I am not a professional athlete who suffers an injury and can come back the next season and have the same goals. No. Imagine if every time a professional Superstar gets injured they have to wait four years to compete for a championship. That means Adrian Peterson doesn't run for 2,000 yards last year and isn't the MVP. Peyton Manning doesn't throw for a bizillion yards last season or this year, he isn't the comeback player. In fact he would have been 40 when he was coming back after missing his opportunity in a 4 year cycle. That would have probably ended his career.

There is a lot of importance on the Olympic cycle. You have to plan your life around being the best at the right time in the right year. That is incredible. At this point in the game it's not about speed, endurance, knowledge, ability, or any physical aspect. It's just all about execution through a 4-day window. Nail it then and you have reached the pinnacle of sport. Blow it and you may never have another opportunity.